Moving In
by Giantpanda
Summary: Sawyer finds that someone is moving into his heart.


TITLE: Moving In  
RATING: PG-13  
SUMMARY: Sawyer finds that someone is moving into his heart.  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own the characters from Lost and am not making a profit. If they were mine, then I guess I'd make Sawyer and Claire a couple.

Sawyer lay on his makeshift bed, his eyes closed tightly. He was trying desperately to block out everything that was happening around him: the throbbing in his shoulder, the uncertainty about life on the island, and most importantly, his growing fear about what happened to Walt. No one knew where Walt was, search parties came and went every day with no news. Even with Sawyer's eyes shut he could still see the Others dressed like hillbillies, hear the shot of the gun, feel the fire burning through his shoulder, feel the cold sensation of the water followed by nothing. He didn't want to think about it anymore, didn't want to feel anything anymore. He was tired of hurting, tired of feeling the guilt that there was nothing he could do. The other castaways had left him alone, which was just how he wanted it. He didn't need their eyes filled with pity as they looked at the angry wound on his shoulder that could still get an infection, or the fact that some of their eyes held the belief that it was his entire fault.

The raft was supposed to be his ticket away from this place. Away from a world where his heart was starting to melt, and all the walls he had built around himself were starting to crumble. All because of another little boy. Aaron still knew nothing about all the ugly shit in the world. He hadn't heard his mother's cries as his daddy killed her, hadn't been under a bed when his daddy killed himself. Sawyer didn't know why he felt a tug at his heart every time he saw Aaron. He didn't understand why he felt like smiling whenever he saw Claire holding her son. That was why he had to get away.

At first getting off the island had simply been because he couldn't stay in this place any longer. He wasn't used to being confined to such a small area. Sure he could have just explored, but considering some of the craziness that happened before, he hadn't been willing to risk it. But somewhere a long the way, his reason had changed. He didn't mind being on the island because he had a new job. He read to Aaron constantly. One day Claire had made a comment about how she didn't know what she would do without him. For a split second, he almost gave his spot to Kate. He had opened his mouth to tell her, but quickly snapped it shut. He felt bad leaving her with a screaming kid, but he didn't know what would happen if he stayed. He already felt himself growing attached the Aaron, it wasn't something he was going to risk. Caring for anyone always ended with pain, and he had enough of that. He couldn't allow himself to feel anything else for the people here. Staying on the island would have destroyed his search for justice, a search some would call a quest for revenge.

A shadow fell across his face, blocking out the heat from the sun. Why was someone bothering him? He just wanted to be left alone with his thoughts, even if they were slowly killing him.

"When a person's eyes are closed, it means leave them alone." His eyes still shut tightly, he added, "That means go away."

The person the shadow belonged to sniffled, then a female voice with an Aussie accent said with a sob, "I'll come back later."

Sawyer's eyes shot open as he realized it was Claire, and she was crying.He felt the desire immediately to apologize to her, but as he opened his mouth, the words died on his tongue. Had he made her cry? He felt uncomfortable with her tears. Claire was the one person on the island that Sawyer could consistently expect to be a good mood, and the only person who was always nice to him. She had been the first face he had seen when he had woken up from washing up on the beach. She had held his hand as Jack looked over his bullet wound. Claire was like the sunlight, and seeing her upset caused something in him to ache.

He looked up at her. Her eyes were bloodshot and puffy from crying. He could still see the tear stains on her face. He wondered what made her cry, wondered what he could do to make it better, and most importantly wondered why the hell he even cared at all. Yet he still remained silent. Claire hadn't moved from her spot, her gaze had fallen down to her feet, and she kept her hands clasped together as if she didn't want to move.

He took the opportunity to allow his eyes to travel down her body. She was wearing clothes he had never seen before. He wondered where she had gotten them. She was no longer in the loungewear that she wore after Aaron's birth. Instead, she had found a flowing skirt and tank top to wear. He could tell that she had lost most of her pregnancy weight, yet she still maintained the curves that he dreamt about exploring. Her hair was pulled back with a few strands in her face, and he couldn't help but think that she was beautiful. Her eyes sparkled with her unshed tears. She chewed on her lip as if looking for something to say. He couldn't believe that someone who had come to him crying looked so amazing.

Sawyer pushed his last thought away. It didn't matter if Claire was beautiful, and he would bet was good in bed. She was a "good girl." And good girls like her didn't like guys like him. He didn't even know why he was thinking about her like that. He didn't know when she stopped being mamacita and started being something more.

"What do you want?" he asked, cringing at the harshness he didn't feel. He didn't want to be rude to the woman in front of him, but some habits were hard to break.

She began to twirl the loose strands of her hair around her fingers as if she was deciding what she wanted to tell him. Sawyer normally would have been annoyed by the stalling, but this time he simply watched as the sun reflected off her hair.

"Never mind," Claire said, turning to leave.

Sawyer was a con man. He knew when someone was hiding something, when they wanted to talk. He also knew the types of questions needed to get the information that he wanted. He was also experienced with women, he knew what they wanted or needed.

He sat up, calling for her, and motioning for her to have a seat beside him.

"Now, I know you didn't venture up to my palace to watch me sleep."

She sank down to the ground. Her checks flushed as she looked down to her hands.

He grinned slowly, this type of behavior he knew how to deal with.

"Or maybe you did. Next time give me a warning." He leaned closer to her. "I'll make it worth your while."

Claire laughed, but still didn't look at him. Even her laugher betrayed the fact that she was still sad.

"Where's Roo?" Sawyer asked.

Claire crinkled her nose in confusion.

He rolled his eyes. "Your son. You carry him around in that pouch, like a kangaroo." He reclined back, trying to ignore the sharp pain in his shoulder. "Guess I should start calling you Kanga."

She cocked her head to the side. "You've read Winnie the Pooh?" she asked incredulously.

His face grew hot at the question. He hadn't even made the connection at first. It wasn't his fault that he had spent so much time in the library as a child to prevent spending time with his foster families. Books were a great way to get lost.

She touched his arm. "I won't tell." She sighed deeply, her chest heaving. "Aaron is with Sayid and Shannon. Sayid's the only one I can trust with him, and Shannon is always with him now."

Her words stung him. She trusts the man who tortured others for a living and a spoiled brat who never did anything, over him. He was the one who was able to read the baby sleep. How many times had she come to him asking for his help?

"Your wannabe rockstar ain't good enough for you anymore?"

Her lip quivered, and he felt guilty. It wasn't like he wanted to be the one watching the little runt, but he had thought Claire had trusted him. She let him spend time with Aaron. Then again, she never left the two of them alone. She was a smart woman. Trusting him would just hurt her in the end. Anyway, everyone on the island already thought she was crazy for leaving the little one with him. He'd never hurt Aaron, and never would, but he'd pissed enough people off for them to question the influence that he would have on the baby.

"Sayid brought Aaron back when the crazy French woman took him." She tucked her hair behind her ear nervously. "Charlie acted like it was all him, but I knew better."

Sawyer rolled his eyes. He'd hear bits and pieces about what had happened with Aaron when he was on the raft. He hadn't believed that Charlie had done the rescuing, but was surprised to hear Claire admit it as well.

Claire stared out down the beach, and Sawyer followed her gaze to where Shannon and Sayid sat playing with Aaron. They looked like a little family, and he briefly wondered if Shannon would be the next mama on the island. Shannon would look good pregnant he decided.

"Sawyer," Claire said softly, startling him.

He liked the way she said his name. The way her accent made some of the hurt connected with the name fade away. It made him wonder what it would sound like to hear her say his real name. He should ask her one, just to say the name without telling her why. He knew she would do it if he asked.

Shaking all his thoughts away, he looked towards her, surprised to see that her eyes were filled with tears again.

"Charlie's on drugs again," she admitted. "Heroin."

It didn't surprise Sawyer to hear that Charlie had been on drugs before. The surprise was that he had found more. Where did that VH1 has been find drugs? And where could Sawyer get them? He desperately wanted to stop the pain that cursed through his shoulder, and drugs would also deaden the pain in his heart. He opened his mouth to ask, but her eyes were filled with so much pain that he couldn't.

What was it about this woman that was affecting him so much? When he was with Kate, he didn't feel the need to be gentlemen, didn't care if what he said hurt her. Hell, he had even outed her to the rest of the castaways. If Claire had been the criminal would he have done the same thing?

She leaned forward to pick up the book he had been reading the day before and her blouse fell forward reveling the top of her chest. He was relieved that whatever he was feeling for her wasn't enough to make him look away. His breath quickened as he imagined his hands exploring her body. He wondered what she felt like. Her skin looked silky smooth and he could all ready picture resting his hands on her waist as he pulled her towards him. He could easily remove her clothes and feel her up against him. He shook his head before his fantasy went any further. There had to be a reason why she had come to him.

"May I ask you a favor?" she asked hesitantly, placing the book back on the ground.

He shrugged. Why not? It wasn't like he had anything better to do on this island. She probably wanted him to get Charlie off drugs so she could live a fairy tale ending with Charlie and Aaron.

"Can Aaron and I stay here with you?" she asked glancing around his shelter.

Sawyer was speechless. That had not been the question that he had expected. In fact if he had to list every question he would have expected to come from the Australian beauty, he never would have guessed this one.

"You want to live here?" he asked, "With me. Why?"

She drew her knees up to her chest. "Charlie scares me, Sawyer. I don't know where else I'll be safe. I'm afraid he'll hurt Aaron."

"What about Sayid? You trust him with the baby."

"Shannon is scarier than Charlie. Can you imagine the reaction that she would have if Aaron spit up on her?" she asked with a small smile.

He laughed. She did look more beautiful when she smiled. As she became serious again, he realized that she had really meant what she had said.

He turned away, his eyes watering. She thought he could keep her safe, keep her son safe. No one had ever felt that Sawyer could do anything like that. He was the conman, the one who cheated people out of their hard earned money, the man who took countless women to bed usually leaving them alone in the morning. Now someone was asking him to watch out for them.

"Sweetheart, you sure you ain't the one doin' heroin? This is me you're talkin' about, thief, conman, island punching bag."

"Roo likes you. He saves smiles for you. He hears your voice from a distance, and his eyes get big and he tries to turn his head so he can find you."

"You gotta teach that kid a little better, not to listen for me," he said, even though he felt like smiling at her confession.

"Babies know who to trust, Sawyer. You can't hide your true self."

He didn't know how to respond to that. He didn't believe, but could tell that she did.

"I know it will mess up your lifestyle here, but I don't know who else to ask." Her voice dropped to a whisper. "I don't want to ask anyone else."

How could he say no with an admission like that?

"We'll get Sayid to bring his cradle up now, and get the two of you settled in."

He wondered briefly what the other castaways would think of their little arrangement. He was sure they would think he had somehow tricked her into it. In all honesty he really didn't care what any of them thought.

"Thank you."

Claire threw herself into his arms as the tears started falling again. She wrapped her arms tightly around his neck. Sharp pains shot through his body as she pushed against his shoulder, yet he didn't push away. Instead he closed his eyes. She felt good to hold. It was almost as if she was a perfect fit for him, even if she was more petite then he was used to. He liked the way she felt against him, and could get used to holding her like that.

She moved slightly to rest her head against his chest, the tears finally stopped. The lower part of her body rubbed against his, and he knew he didn't want to let her go. He also realized that as long as she was there, things were going to be complicated. There was nowhere to run now. He brushed his lips against her golden hair as he felt the hard exterior he had built since he was a child crumble just a little.

In that moment, he knew without a doubt, that he would do whatever possible to keep this woman safe. He wouldn't survive losing someone else who was in his heart.

The End.


End file.
